There Is Always More To The Story

I have been looking forward to this all day. Ever since Pete wanted to get on board with me to tell our financial love story I have been walking down memory lane and sometimes in the middle of dirty diapers and multiplication memory lane is a peaceful place to wander. I, of course, have more detail to offer. I realize my relationship with our marital money was born long before our wedding night. I won’t bore you with EVERY detail, but I think a few more are necessary.

I left home at 17 and moved to Gainesville FL to live the college life, complete with my own apartment and total financial autonomy. I was the leader of my own pack. I worked 3 different waitress jobs and put myself through school. I was very independent. And then after one hot summer night and a cold six pack of Coors Lite my world changed forever and I did what any self respecting love sick girl would do, I moved back home with my parents and waited for Pete to propose.

Finally during his Senior year, while he was home on Spring Break, he asked me to marry him. After saying “ABSOLUTLEY YES!!!” we soon found out our first duty station would be in Alameda CA. Over the next few months we were planning like crazy…What would I wear to graduation? Where would I go to school? Should we take my grandpa’s free table or his buddies? Very important information to iron out before moving cross country and getting married.

( You may be asking yourself, “Why is she not planning a wedding during this time?”…keep asking, I will fill you in on that story another time. But, for this story, just know we did get married and I will explain the rest later….)

Finally it is time for Pete and I to make our way to Alameda. We hop in my Toyota Corolla with 125,000 miles and 4 bald tires and head west. All the while we were just 2 love sick young kids who were on an extended date. There was no talk of child rearing philosophies, religious beliefs, political views…just talk of snowboarding in Tahoe and hiking the Oakland hills. We arrive in Alameda and my introduction to life as a military wife was immediate. Pete checked in on his boat and came home that afternoon with some news. He would be deploying with the Navy for 6 months to the Middle East, he was leaving in 3 weeks. And I did the only thing I thought was important to a newly married couple…I began fare welling him the best way I knew…..(let’s just say..lots of lovin’)

A few days before he leaves he came home and said, “My CO wanted everyone to leave a Power of Attorney with their spouse. So I got one for you.” After a few moments I stopped giggling over being called a spouse, a small step up from dependant (which is what I am usually called), and realized I was being left very soon by my sweet sailor and I completely forgot the Power of Attorney and what it was for.

Too soon, one early morning in July, I found myself kissing my new sailor husband goodbye. We had been married all of 2 months. There I was 20 years old, going to school at the local community college and now a heart broken, scared, new wife. Knowing my fear and sadness Pete introduces me to another officer’s wife. I instantly realize I am meeting a lifelong friend and I cling to her immediately.

Finally the whistle blows and all families must leave the ship. Before I turn to walk away Pete gives me a debit card with my name on it, “I thought you might need this.” I take the card put it in my purse and that is the first and last financial discussion we have for 6 months.





Part 2

…coming soon