The Greatest Gift I Never Asked For

I remember when her stick turned pink. I was extremly tired for about a week. I had a 3 month old so I did not think much of it. One afternoon I had to run out to get some milk. Pete happened to be home so I got to go with just my baby Jack! I walked into Lakeside Grocery store in Sitka Alaska. To get to the back of the store where the milk was I walked straight down the first aisle, which happened to be the first aid aisle. And then it hit me!! I saw the PG tests and I knew at that moment that God had called my number again. As I was holding my infant I put the box on the checkout counter, of course forgetting the milk. The clerk just looked at me and whispered, "Really?" I replied, "Maybe."

My heart was promptly in my throat!! What do you mean pregnant when I have a three month old? I am still nursing, my body has not even regained proper function for this sort of outcome. I am sure Pete heard the deep pounding of my heart before he even heard the car pull up, crunching rocks on our gravel driveway.


"Hi Babe. Just have to go potty, can you hold the baby?" I ran to the bathroom, to afraid to even voice my hunch. I preformed the required contribution and even before the stick turned pink I knew the answer. TEARS, is all I can say. I guess I should clarify...lots of tears!!

Pete came in shortly after I entered. A mom in a bathroom alone is cause for alarm around our house. He just looked at me and knew right away. He just SMILED. "How fun is this going to be? This is so great! We are officially on our way to a big family." I needed him to say those things and really mean them. I needed him to feel it enough for both of us. I did want a big family, and typically I like things to move along at a good clip...but when I am the one MAKING A HUMAN, I could have used another minute of two.

After giving birth I decided I needed a little refresher course in Natural Family Planning. As I was reading I came upon some statistics about fertility and nursing. It seems that the chance of me conceiving Lucy before I ever got my period back within the 1st 3 months of nursing was 6%. That means that I had 94% chance of never conceiving Lucy. She was meant to be here. I was meant to be her mom .