My Waitress Days Are Over

Finishing things is hard for me. I am realizing that follow through may not be my strong point. I should have realized this back when Pete and I were dating. He would come home from the Academy for Christmas break and I would quit whatever waitress job I had at the time. I was constantly walking out after a shift if Pete was in town and wanted to go somewhere. He, of course, was horrified. For a guy who was surrounded by structure, commitment and obligation seeing me throw obligation out the window was mystifying. Somehow he saw past all of that and had faith that I could stick with something...hopefully him.

For years my inability to see things through has been my own battle. I am someone who has the , energy, heart and desire to volunteer to run things, but finishing them is a different story. So I learned to help others, never being in charge myself. I am a great cheerleader, I just struggle with being the team captain.

The reality now is I am the team captain and I have to push myself through this "not finishing" business. This situation effects more than me now. There are five people, sometimes six, who watch every move I make and they are recording and reviewing ALL of it. If I don't finish, or even worse don't make them finish, what type of virtue am I building in them, and in me?

What virtue was I working on all those years ago when I walked out of countless waitress jobs because I wanted to have fun with my boyfriend?

That is why Homeschooling is so good for me. It makes me finish. I am SO accountable for finishing. I can't walk out. I know how I want this story to end. I want my kids to grow up close. I don't want to dread the teenage years. I want them to get a good Catholic education. I want them to be pure virtous kids who love our Catholic Faith and love Jesus. I want Jack to be a priest, Molly a Sister and do whatever God calls the rest to do. Do I ultimately have control over any of that? No!! But I know that quitting will not get me any closer to this goal.

In no way do I think Homeschooling is the magic potion for all my goals. I just know that this is the path God has put me on to best acheive these goals for these kids.

So, I am sorry Lone Star, Applebee's, Los Rancharos, Barney's, Pit Boss, Tally's Diner, Congo Craigs, Breakfast Club and countless other places that I walked out on because I did not know how to finish. And thank you Pete for believing I could finish something!